28 April 2009

La La La

Current mood: disappointed
Category: Life
I've come to grips with my reality, which is? I'm okay today. It's just okay. It's okay to be alone, it's okay to have friends. It's okay to spend the day on the computer, it's okay to sleep. It's okay to work with my hands on my knees in the dirt, it's okay to dress all pretty and feminine just for myself. It's okay to listen to music some may believe is ridiculous, it's okay to dance my heart out. It's just okay.
You know I've spent a lot of time with myself lately. . .lol, hey it's okay! And I sit and wish I were with someone else. But really? who? who would think I wasn't boring, while I sit here bored with myself? think about it. . .so, shucks. . .unless I like where I'm at and what I'm doing, I'd rather not share my blah blah. . .I wanna share my life, the living of it, not the whining, or the trauma's, not the sadness (though that's always a part we can't avoid), but the joy of it!
And I've prayed and I've pleaded and I've wished and I've gotten angry. . .in the end, or shall I say, for right now. . .it's just okay. I get what ever I may get. It's the outlook I've noticed that's part of the answer. I'll keep pushing forward, hold onto the ledge my friend, and then? Well, is it okay today?
It's okay to look at a puddle, watch the ripples, if that's all you have left to appreciate on the worst of days. It's okay to shed a tear, let it out and breath a sigh of fresh air, when it's all done. It's okay to laugh like it's the funniest thing you've ever heard. Okay to look someone in the eye and say, "no, I disagree". Doesn't mean I don't care, just means I disagree. . .and well, what am I really blogging about?
I guess, I'm just reminding myself, it's okay, to just be okay. Is that okay with you?

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