07 April 2009

Here I sit. . .

This is amazing, I'm stumped!

I'm just sitting here,
mouth ajar,
shoulders hunched,
tears just waiting to erupt. . .for what?
I'm at a loss for brain waves.
What just happened?

Do I start making fun of myself now?
Lighten the heaviness in my chest?
Or should I just unload my confusion on this site. . .
(no one's gonna see it anyway. . .)
heck, if I knew what I'm even thinking maybe I'd get a clue?

There's always something, isn't there?
Someone says a word out of place,
maybe you forget something important,
sometimes it can just be the weather.
Yet, there's always something.
Now if I could only find out what the hell it is!

I've been teetering back and forth between the best of myself,
and the aftermath of the worst of myself. . .
It's been an interesting battle,
sometimes I wait on the side lines, rooting for the hometeam,
other times I'm right in the thick of it,
and again even more so,
I wonder how to take myself totally out of the equation.
Not get in my own way, so to speak. . .
It's not that simple.
Never has been,
It may feel like it's easy on a good day,
but on one of these moments (just this funky minute)
I'm stuck, and it hurts to move in any direction.
What is that?

I guess all I'm trying to do with this Blogger site is put together a page for my bestfriend. . .
which it so happens, IS ME!!!

Remind myself who I am,
What I like
What makes me tick
Share my special stuff with myself,
Sounds weird maybe, but I have a reason. . .
Got to find that joy again, that pure joy of life. . .
the joy that comes from being true to yourself. . .

So I'll paste the pics I love,
Post the sayings that touch my heart strings
Put up stuff I enjoy doing. . .maybe even memories
Spew my shit, share my laughter, and even confusion
at myself. . .
And when I croak, maybe I'll pass this site onto my kids?
Who knows?

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